By Florence Dwek
Many years ago, when I was a naïve young woman who thought that writing was a task, that once mastered, would earn me fame and fortune, I encountered an English professor who actually took the time to study the style of my term papers.
Content mattered to him, of course, but it was not what I wrote about John Dunne, however insightful or clever, that made an impact on him, but the way I chose to express my sentiments and how I went about choosing the words to do so.
He always gave me two grades-typically, an "A-" for content, and then a "?" for style - the question mark in bright red imploring me to ponder the merits of what I'd written and then fill in the grade I thought I deserved.
I have no idea whether he did this with everyone's paper, but at the time, I was convinced that I was the only student in the class that got this special treatment.
His edits were a work of art - and I would have framed them and placed them on the wall of my room were it not for the embarrassment I felt upon seeing each circled word. "What do these words add?" he scrawled across the top of my papers, time and again.
There were no other comments, only circled words, lassoed by his red pen as he galloped over the paper, hell bent on roping in "the bulls" -- words that had no place on the page.
I took on the challenge with a vengeance, scrutinizing every word I wrote and zapping anything that smelled superfluous or useless. My zeal proved rewarding, since each successive paper boasted fewer and fewer of his lassoed bulls.
Looking back, I'm convinced I learned more from studying those lassoed words than I did from any other source of writing instruction. And to this day, I cannot write a speech, an article, a letter, or anything else, without doing some circling of my own.
As speechwriters, we can all benefit from this technique. Before you turn in that first draft, take a long, hard look at the terrain you've created. Then try to rein in those useless bulls.
Be stubborn, demanding and merciless.
Ask yourself:
- Are you providing significant detail or merely inflating a statement?
- Adding emphasis or rhetoric?
- Illuminating a concept, or just adding gloss?
Chances are, you'll find most bulls veiled in smoke or lurking behind mirrors. As my old English Prof. used to say: "It takes time to find them-keep an eye out for those branded with UA-useless adjective or adverb!"
Our greatest challenge is to write a memorable speech. We all want our phrases to convey meaning and substance while holding a special allure. When we take the time to use only the words that count, we are rewarded with the words that not only matter most-but can convey the most in terms of eloquence, sincerity and passion. Your speaker deserves nothing less. (And that's no bull!)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Florence Dwek, a communications specialist, is currently a Public Health Advisor with the Dept. of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. In a previous position, she served as speechwriter to former U.S. Surgeon General Antonia Novello. Ms. Dwek also enjoys an independent career as a professional narrator and voice over talent for TV, radio, film and video projects.
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